Weekend Coffee Share: Three Forms of Madness

Image

If we were having coffee, I’d be going “god bless! It’s been more than two weeks since I published a post, and three since I’ve joined the #WeekendCoffeeShare.

weekendcoffeeshare

I’ve been thinking I have a time management problem for awhile now, and I probably do. But I understand time management and I do my best to manage the time I have productively. At this point, I’m viewing the time problem in the same way I view the financial problem.

I DON’T have a “money management” problem. I manage my money just fine. The problem is I have a prioritized list of expenses every month and a set income. It’s a simple operation.

  1. Rent and power always get paid first.
  2. Things like shoes, groceries, and medical have to come next.
  3. The rest gets paid out of whatever is left, and when I run out of money, well, I am out of money and have to let things ride.
  4. So, weird things happen to the lower-priorities. The trash bill tends to get paid three months at a time at the last minute. The cell phone and cable bills get paid just enough to keep from being turned off. Credit accounts are serviced as early as possible, and just enough to keep the accounts active. I’m doing some fairly subtle and creative things with a few revolving credit accounts just now.

This is no way to live, financially. And I think something similar is going on with my time at this point. I have a prioritized list of things I need to spend time on, and once I’m out of time, I’m just out of time until I get a weekend or a holiday or a legitimate day off to be free (those are few and far between.)

The problem is not that I am unaware of how time management works. The problem is that I have precious little time to manage.

So, here are some things I’ve been doing with my time lately, and some things I plan to do with it in the next little while.

Chess Madness

The grandson, who I talk about on the Internet from time to time, has developed an interest in Chess. He is also good at math and interested in any competition which can be constructed as a war game (I blame Southern Culture as the proximate cause for his love of battle, and finger Western Imperialism as the root cause of his fascination.)

Getty stock image.

Getty stock image.

We have a neighbor kid who is a few grades further along in school, loves to hang out at our house, and wants to get good enough to beat his older brother in chess. The neighbor kid has expressed a willingness to be mindful of the fact that he’s dealing with a 7-year-old and understands that being a good sport is a condition of me teaching him how chess works.

So we have three chess players of varying levels of skill willing to be kind and learn from one another. The two with the least experience are naturally good at the sorts of thinking that make for lifelong chess players, so of course I am going to give them as much time as I can afford.

What this means, as far as the time budget goes, is that sometimes I have to stop what I am doing, even if I’d rather be writing, and give the grandson 20 minutes for a chess game. Or stop for an hour and give the two boys three chess games to think about and learn from.

Because the chess gives us a reason to interact that builds useful skills and does not require an electronic device. And it gives us something in common to talk about. All kinds of reasons this is the #1 thing at the moment.

Doggie Madness

The doggies are second because they are living creatures who depend on me to feed them. I have a 3.5-month-old puppy I brought into my house willingly, and an older one who just sort of wandered up and stuck around because we fed him.

These are large breed dogs. the smaller one is not four months old, and she’s big enough to snag a pork chop off the kitchen counter if we turn our backs long enough.

we_iz_innocent

They are not bad doggies, but they are not especially¬†well-trained, either. They’re requiring a lot of attention, which means a lot of time. Because I am not going to have two half-grown dogs that weigh better than 80 lbs counter-surfing in my kitchen. I am also not going to beat them to make them behave.

So you can see why this is consuming a lot of resources, and hopefully why it is important to me.

Feminist Madness

I started a Feminist Friday Project along with my sister Diana and our friend Gretchen a couple of years ago now. Somehow, against all odds and with the help of many other bloggers, we’ve managed to keep it viable up to this very day. Here’s the official archive of posts so far.Feminism_free

Most of the bloggers who have contributed so far are still in, and we’re working up to a major announcement.

In fact, once I am done with this post, the next thing I am doing is working on the feminist project.

My list is way longer. I’ve caught up on my tv in the last few weeks, and also read a comics series which demands to be written about.

This is enough for today, but if you want clues as to where I am going, read Saga, then watch Orange is the New Black and Jessica Jones.

saga Cover

I’ve got things to say about all of that stuff. I will likely say it on multiple blogs and from a feminist perspective.

If you’ve not yet added your #WeekendCoffeeShare post to the linkup and shared it on Twitter at this late hour, you should do that stat.

Off to work for me now ūüėČ

Feminist Friday Summer Wrap-Up

This week we wrap up our longest run of Feminist Friday discussions so far. We’ve had discussions for eleven consecutive weeks¬†on nine blogs, and this project is still going strong. We’re planning¬†another, shorter run for later in the year.Feminist_Morpheus_Quickmeme_by_GeneO

L.M.’s post from the Lobster Dance, “Ask a Bisexual: Can Women and Men Ever Just Be Friends,” was recently published at Feministe. Luther Siler of Infinite Free time joined us for this round and hosted an awesome discussion on teaching girls as a guy.¬†We have a page at Part Time Monster to archive our discussion posts from here on out, and Diana’s announced that she plans to make feminist content a regular staple at the Monster on Fridays.

I’ve missed a lot of the chats¬†this run, and I’ve not had time promote them the way I did during 2014 and in the spring. Yet both attendance and the discussions have been good.¬†All this is bodes well for the health of this project.

It’s¬†amazing all this started as a conversation between three bloggers in 2013. You can read the backstory in my very first discussion post. These discussions have meant a lot to me, personally. They’ve not only made me a lot of friends, they’ve made me more sensitive to my own privilege, and they’ve improved my advocacy skills.

I’m happy with what we’ve accomplished — and we’ve accomplished a lot. We’ve produced 42 posts so far. We’ve collected last year’s into an essay collection which is available for free on Smashwords. Sabina wrote a follow-up to one of her discussion posts that ended up being Freshly Pressed.

feministbloggersLOGOVERSION

I’m hoping we can keep it going. I’d like to continue¬†finding new bloggers to host these posts and to join in the chats. I’m looking forward to this¬†year’s collection. Seems like these discussions are shaping up¬†to be an ongoing thing, and they’ve¬†proven they can survive without the sort of micromanagement I did during the first year. So, uber-planner that I am, I almost tossed out a couple of project-related issues today.

Decided to do something fun instead, and save the project-y stuff for another day. I have three questions for you. Respond to any, all, or whatever combination suits you.

  1. Feminism_freeWhat’s your favorite post this project has produced so far?
  2. What’s the most memorable discussion thread?
  3. What topics do you think we should discuss in the next series of these?

If you’re just joining us, scan a few of the posts and threads from Part Time Monster’s Feminist Friday page and chime in if you like. I’m interested to¬†know what grabs people. And feel free to answer item #3 even if this is the first you’ve heard of us.

Why Blog Politics?

When i first started blogging here, I’d sometimes write posts just to clarify my thoughts and see what sort of feedback they’d get. This is one of those. Now that I’ve moved my¬†#WeekendCoffeeShare posts to Sourcerer and the Feminist Friday archive is hosted at Part Time Monster, this blog’s going to need a new tagline and and about page revision. I’m wrapping up the summer run of the Feminist Friday Discussions here this week. Do join us — it will be at least several weeks before we start them up again.

Long-term, I don’t see keeping this blog active, but for the moment, this is the only one¬†I have access to where I can do social commentary any time¬†I feel like it. So I’m not quite done. I’ve done political blogging off-and-on for almost as long as blogs have existed. I’ve not always been good at it, and I’ve had to learn a few lessons the hard way over the years.

This is me.

This is me.

I’ve had to learn to moderate my rhetoric and be open to criticism while remaining firm in my position and not allowing myself to be baited by debating tricks — not always easy things to do, especially on the internet. It’s very much a work in progress. I’ve learned to not attack people (also the hard way), and I’ve moved away from advocating for political parties and candidates.

Now, I’ll just be honest. Aside from a handful of local candidates, I haven’t voted for a Republican since, well . . . ever. I’m a liberal by any reasonable standard of American politics, but I don’t consider myself that far to the left. There have been times in the history of the U.S. when I’d have been considered a moderate. But I feel like my own views are defined, as far as the larger culture goes, by measuring their¬†distance from a center which has shifted progressively¬†to the right for most of my lifetime.

I’ve been given all sorts of labels over the years for having views I consider to be common sense. Liberal. Progressive. Leftist. Socialist. Bleeding Heart. Hippie. That was difficult to deal with when I was in my 20s and early 30s. It’s one of the reasons it’s been such a struggle to moderate my rhetoric and learn to write political content that has a chance of appealing to readers. As I’ve gotten older, though, my skin’s gotten thicker. I’ve learned to shrug that stuff off and just say what I need to say.

I think there are signs the center could be shifting back a little in the U.S. The marriage equality ruling, the progress on legalization some of the western states are making, and the President talking about prison reform all bode well for that. I think the way the country is trending demographically also favors this shift.

That said, the culture warriors of the far right aren’t going quietly, and I don’t see anything resembling an actual “left” in this country. Yes, you can find a handful of liberal politicians who hold some extreme views on a few issues. And yes, large segments of the population would prefer more liberal leaders and more liberal public policies. But there’s no “left” equivalent of the Tea Party.

Feminist_Morpheus_Quickmeme_by_GeneOThat’s important to note. Even if the more extreme elements of the right were correct on the issues and we could all stomach their vision for the country, not having a coherent group¬†to counterbalance them is bad for everyone. I don’t know what to do about it except keep advocating for my own positions and hope to make enough friends on the internet to find ways of making progress.

I’m in an especially difficult position for a liberal because I live in the Deep South. So I not only have to contend with run-of-the-mill parochial conservatism, there are all the historical social problems, too. I have to deal with various strains of Christianity that I can only describe as 19th-century ways of thinking. Because of the way we’ve been historically divided by race — and at times our elites have intentionally set us against one another — it’s nearly impossible to have a productive conversation about either race or class. There’s plenty of misogyny, much of it unacknowledged, which informs all kinds of conversations about issues that intersect with gender. And conspiracy theories all around.

Despite those difficulties, I’m lucky. I’m a man. I’m tall. Even though I’m not smokin’ hot or anything, it’s fair to call me¬†attractive and I present well. My intelligence is above average. I’ve always been physically healthy because I grew up middle class in a home with two parents who took care of their children, so I had good nutrition and the best medical¬†care an insurance company could afford until I was in my mid-20s. I’ve got an undergraduate degree I didn’t have to pay for myself, which allowed me to get a graduate degree later without being absolutely crushed by the debt.

If I’d been born into real wealth and didn’t have the anxiety, depression, and insomnia to deal with, I’d basically have ALL the privilege, except a high-ranking government job. I wasn’t born into real wealth, though. My entire adult life has been a struggle to maintain my financial independence and to keep¬†myself and my family afloat. I came out of a middle class family with no idea how much money it was requiring to maintain that standard of living. I chose my college major because I thought I wanted to be a poet or fiction writer or a professor, and I was encouraged¬†to pick something I liked, rather than something that paid. Started out in local journalism (which pays terribly) because I knew I didn’t want to teach school.CSE_Live_06_26_2015

Yet still, despite my modest means, I’m privileged. I’ve never been hungry unless I chose¬†to be. Never had to sleep on the street. And when I look at how 85 percent of the rest of the world lives, it seems like I have it pretty good. “Get to the point, Gene’O,” you say.

My point is this. Yes, I’m privileged. But I’ve lived close enough to edge to wonder if I was going to end up either homeless and hungry, or completely dependent on relatives. I’ve seen enough real, on-the-ground, racism, poverty, and sexism, to last a couple of lifetimes. And enough outright meanness cloaked¬†in conservative and Christian ideology to last a dozen. So I have to figure out this social criticism thing.

I support adequate social services because I don’t believe people should go hungry for lack of money, and I’m not content to leave that entirely to charities. I support Planned Parenthood not because of my pro-choice and feminist views, but because women who don’t have the money or adequate insurance to afford them still need pap smears and cancer screenings. I support penal reform because I believe we’re locking too many people up, and the application of our laws is falling disproportionately on minorities and economically-disadvantaged people.

I’ve got to find a way to cut through the noise and start talking about that stuff openly and productively. Got to learn to put things in terms people can understand. And most importantly, I’ve got to find a better place to do all that than this tiny WordPress blog.

Thanks for reading, and do stay tuned.